A year progress..

Note **I wrote most of this last month and just now finished. Oh well..better late than never.**

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the progress I’ve made with my depression. It was a year ago this month (march) that I’d finally taken some action in getting the help that I so desperately needed. I don’t even know where things would be now if I hadn’t gotten help. The truth is, if I hadn’t…I might not be here now. Sad, but true. It’s interesting how things can change so much through the years. It took me three years to admit to myself that I was dealing with depression. Another year before I’d tell anyone and get help.

A year later, here I am and doing pretty well. I’m not as antisocial as I was, but after much thought and reflection I’ve come to realize that I’m just a home-body. I like to be home. I feel the most comfortable and content when I am home. I have been getting out and going shopping and visiting a little here and there so that is an accomplishment. The other thing is the phone…I used to love talking on the phone. I could do it for hours and enjoy it. Now, I just don’t care to do it much..ok..ok..I don’t care to do it at all, but at least when the phone rings now, I will check to see who it is and most of the time I’ll answer it. It had gotten to the point that I wouldn’t even look at the caller id because I didn’t care who was calling and wasn’t about to answer the phone. Fucked up or what? Oh well..

I hope that another year from now, I will still be doing well, better even. By then I’ll be done with college and hopefully working at a job in my career field. I worry about getting a job. I don’t feel as though I know enough and I certainly don’t have any experience outside of the classroom. I don’t feel like I’m good enough. I don’t really want to be one of those people who waste their degree, but I’m scared. Ugh…hopefully by then I’ll be past this. Anyhow..here’s to another year.